} Hmm. This is interesting. I shall have to take a journey to the Halls
} of Every Damn Bit of Knowledge That Anyone Could Know But Can't Since
} Man Has Gone Too F**king Slow to Discover It So That He Only Knows a
} Laughingly Puny Subset of Such Knowledge.
} The Halls are deserted. The books are dusty. (Cough!) The air about
} this place is all filthy and hard to see through. It reminds me of Los
} The Index to the Encyclopedia of Every Damn Bit of Knowledge et al
} (Volume 7,912,835,491,256,374,801,928,534,812,387,409,215,385,742,315)
} shows this entry:
} > Monroe, Marilyn: vol.
} > 3,786,490,324,765,078,236,457,637,641,276,578,612,-
} > 675,412,307, p. 2,938,764.
} > . . .
} > imitation of: vol. 379,692,534,253,954,912,367,846,357,601,236,482,-
} > 534,537,542, p. 923,764.
} Under "imitation of" we find this article:
} > BOGUSBLONDHAIRIMITAITSAMARIMUNRISM (bo'gus blonde hair im'itates a
} > Mari' Mon'rism) is a disorder caused by the desire to become Marilyn
} > Monroe. See the Encyclopedia of Every Damn Bit of Psychology Know-
} > ledge That Any Psychologist Could Know But Can't Since Man Is So
} > Screwed That He Can't Even Figure Himself Out, under the article
} > "bogusblondhairimitaitsamarimunrism," for more details.
} In the Encyclopedia of ... Psychology Knowledge et al:
} > . . . characterized by the following symptoms:
} > 1. Voice strikingly similar to Marilyn Monroe's.
} > 2. Mannerism strikingly similar to Marilyn Monroe's.
} > 3. Hair strikingly similar to Marilyn Monroe's.
} > 4. Facial features strikingly similar to Marilyn Monroe's.
} > 5. Breasts strikingly similar to Marilyn Monroe's.*
} > 6. Sex strikingly similar to Marilyn Monroe's.+
} > * Can be determined by qualified doctor or boyfriend.
} > + Can be determined by people such as JFK.
} > Bogusblondhairimitaitsamarimunrism is dangerous. It can lead to
} > death.
} "Hell!" I screamed. "Is that all you can tell me about it?!" Then I
} read the next sentence:
} > Yes, Oracle, that's all I can say, and you really should watch your
} > language and keep your stress level down.
} "But I have so many questions to answer," I said to the Encyclopedia.
} > I know, but you really should take a vacation for a while. Let this
} > question rest for a few days.
} "But you said this disorder can cause death! I've gotta get this
} message back to this guy pronto!"
} > Alright, suit yourself.
} You owe the Oracle a six-month supply of Valium.