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} CHORUS: Flintstones, meet the Flintstones!
} They're the modern stone-age family!
} From the town of Bedrock,
} they're a page right out of history!
}
} Let's ride with the family down the street
} Through the courtesy of Fred's big feet
} When you're with the Flintstones
} Have a yabba-dabba-doo time,
} a dabba-doo time,
} we'll have a gay old time!
}
} (Scene: WILMA is looking out of her window talking to
} BETTY who's looking out her window.)
}
} WILMA: I don't know Betty. Fred's just seemed so glum these
} past few days. He's been really moody, and I don't know
} what to do.
}
} BETTY: I know just how you feel, Wilma. While I was pregnant
} with Bamm-Bamm, Barney just got more and more edgy. If
} you ask me, our species is beginning to develop a libido.
} Whatever that is.
}
} WILMA: You know, you're right. In fact, last night I remember
} him asking Mr. Slate if dishwashers were more affectionate
} if you fed them more often. Are you thinking what I'm
} thinking?
}
} BETTY: I don't know. Fred's an awfully desperate man, but I
} don't think he's that desperate.
}
} WILMA: You may be right. Still, I don't know how much more of
} this I'll be able to stand.
}
} (Scene: the quarry. Cheesy music. FRED is on a brontosaurus
} moving rocks around. The whistle-bird blows, and FRED
} slides down the neck to find BARNEY waiting for him.)
}
} FRED: Barney, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
}
} BARNEY: Have you tried having sex with Wilma?
}
} FRED: Sex? What's that?
}
} BARNEY: Well, you know how in cartoons we always have children
} through creative license? Well, there's another way.
}
} FRED: Really? Do you think it will help?
}
} BARNEY: Absolutely. Sex is the greatest invention since fire
} and the wheel. No, it's even _better_ than the wheel?
} Did I ever tell you _why_ we named our kid Bamm-Bamm?
}
} FRED: No. Doesn't it have something to do with that club he
} carries?
}
} BARNEY: Ha, ha! You're a kidder, Fred. Only stupid little
} children would think that. Here, Fred, nobody's
} looking. Let me show you what it's like.
}
} FRED: Hey, Barney, what are you doing? Hey, now, watch it!
} Hey! Stop that! Hey! Hey? Heeeey, this is great!
}
} (They have a gay old time.)
}
} FRED: YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOOO!!!
}
} BARNEY: What was that?
}
} FRED: Man, that felt great! You can do _that_ to women?
}
} BARNEY: Some people say it's even better that way.
}
} FRED: C'mon. We're going home PRONTO!
}
} (FRED gets in his car and sets a new world land-speed record.)
}
} (Scene: at home. More cheesy music. FRED pulls up to the curb
} and gets out of the car.)
}
} DINO: Bow-wow-wow! Bow-wow-wow-wow-wow!
}
} FRED: C'mon, Dino! You'll get your turn soon. But I've just GOT
} to see my wife.
}
} (FRED gets up and enters the house. WILMA is waiting.)
}
} WILMA: Fred! You're home really early today!
}
} FRED: C'mon, Wilma, you're gonna looooove this!
}
} (They, too, have a gay old time.)
}
} FRED: YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
}
} WILMA: What was that, Fred? Oh, oh, OH, YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOOOOO!!!!
}
} CHORUS: When you're with the Flintstones,
} Have a yabba-dabba-doo time,
} a dabba-doo time,
} We'll have a gay old time!!
}
} FRED: Wilma! Willllllmaaaaaa!
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