} My forthcoming THE USENET ORACLE'S BIG BOOK OF BUSINESS CARD GAMES
} contains many more multiplayer than solitaire games. Of course
} you'll want to buy the book, but in the meantime here's a sampler
} of three games, including the most popular solitaire variant.
} Game 1: Business Card Post Office
} Party game, most fun with a large mixed-sex group.
} Everyone puts their own business card face down into a pile. The cards
} are shuffled and each player draws a card at random. One at a time,
} each player reads the name and job title on the card he has drawn and
} then says, "I have to put a stamp on <NAME>!" If NAME's job title is
} more prestigious than Player's, Player must kiss NAME on the butt or
} drop out of the game; otherwise Player can either pass or kiss NAME
} on the mouth. If Player chooses to kisses NAME, NAME can either accept
} the kiss, or call out "Harrassment!" while throwing his or her own
} business card in the air. If the card comes down heads, Player is
} "guilty" and must sit out a turn; if it comes down tails, NAME is
} "fired" and is out of the game.
} If a Player has drawn his or her own card, everyone calls out "Pee-Wee
} Herman!" and Player is out of the game.
} The game ends either when only one player is left or when the remaining
} players are too busy kissing to choose cards; this is called
} "Corporation" and counts as a draw.
} Game 2: Business Card "War"
} 2 players
} Each player plays with his own personal business card collection. Both
} players put their cards in a pile, face down. On each turn, both
} players turn over a single card from their pile. The player with the
} higheranking card shouts "I beat!" and adds both cards to his winnings.
} Play ends when one player has turned over all of his cards; the winner
} is the one with the most cards.
} In a friendly game, players may agree in advance to limit themselves to
} the same initial number of cards. In tournament play, however, each
} player always begins with as many cards as he has.
} Ranking: Companies and job titles are ignored except when two cards
} rank the same, in which case the usual rules of corporate precedence
} apply. Otherwise, cards are compared by going through the following
} series of test:
} Custom-printed BEATS $2 Do-It-Yourself Mall Machine
} Color " black-and-white
} Embossed letters " flat letters
} Times Roman " artsy-fartsy fonts
} Hand-set type " machine printed
} Halftone engraved
} portrait of owner " photograph of owner
} Hologram company logo " embossed logo
} Internet address " Bitnet, MCI mail, or Fidonet
} Cards with any of the following are "wild" and automatically win:
} UUCP bang-path addresses; workplace address with no numbers
} (e.g., "Manor House, Sutton-Under-Barrow, Hampstead, England");
} typesetting by Kibo
} Cards with any of the following are "jokers" and automatically lose:
} handwritten corrections; company "Slogan in Quotes Like This";
} dried boogers; Internet address @aol.com
} Game 3: Business Card Hangman
} a solitaire game
} Shuffle all the business cards in your collection and draw 13 at
} random. Place twelve of the cards face up in two rows to form the "jury
} box." Then place the thirteenth card face up below the others, saying
} as you put it down, "Behold the Hanged Man!"
} Write down the fax numbers from the 12 cards of the "jury." Send each
} of the jury members a fax with the following text, signed by the
} "Hanged Man" with his fax number as the return address, after having
} scanned in his corporate logo to make a convincing fax cover sheet:
} TO: <Jury Member>
} Since you didn't respond to my last fax I can only assume that
} you are a miserable, cowardly excuse for a professional who
} doesn't give a damn if his company goes down the tubes. Well,
} I wouldn't do business with you if you were giving away ice
} cubes in Hell. And don't even bother replying to this fax, now
} that it's too late, because *our* janitor keeps enough paper
} in the john for people to wipe their asses with.
} <Hanged Man>
} Scoring: Consider yourself a winner if Hanged Man loses a job, files
} for bankruptcy, or commits suicide. Consider yourself a big loser if
} you're not smart enough to hack the fax so your own return number
} doesn't show up on the messages you send.