} The inter is a fearsome beast, and one must use extreme caution when
} trying to catch one using an inter net. Basically, an inter is
} invisible and so absolutely, mind-astoundingly huge that only one of
} such great mental power as I, the Great Oracle, can even hope to grasp
} the concept completely. Do not forsake your quest, though, because an
} inter, while not very good to eat (or to be eaten by), is a fascinating
} beast that will give you years of enjoyment, hence the employment of an
} inter net to catch one alive. Catching an inter is great sport, and I
} myself have caught many.
} There are several ways of catching an inter. Here are a few:
} Spread the inter net as far and wide as possible, stretching it as much
} as you possibly can. This is the trap. Then you must lead the inter
} into the net. To do this, one must make a trail of something that
} inters really, really like. One thing they like is people, and if you
} can somehow manage to talk someone into being the bait, then you can
} probably talk them into catching one and giving it to you. Other
} things to use are tel nets (which they love to make string puzzles
} with), FTP's (which are like green peas but slightly different),
} Archie's (the comic, of course), and various other things that work to
} greater or lesser degrees. Make a trail of these leading to the inter
} net, and when an inter comes along, drop it on him.
} Use a World Wide Web instead of an inter net, and you have a much
} better chance of catching one.
} You can also try to spot an inter wandering around, and jump it with
} the net. This method has certain drawbacks, such as not being able to
} see it and the fact that the inter is much, much, much bigger than you.
} You absolutely have to get it on the first try, or be able to outrun
} the entire Olympic sprinting team.
} What you do with it when you get it is another question entirely...
} Historical note: The inters were created from sticking together a
} bunch of even more fearsome beasts called UNIX. They were
} understandably angry about what happened to them, and that anger lives
} on in the inters.
} Persevere, and thou shalt recieve what is coming to thee.